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Music & Lyrics: ONE LAST TRY ~ Ane Brun @anebun

I wish I had one last try
hidden somewhere inside
but it’s all been spent before

When I reach for it
I can sense it in my hand
and when I try to grasp it it’s like sand – or water through my hopeful fingers

This just won’t hold – hold
This just won’t hold – hold

There’s something so half-full about us
we get so little but what we get it tastes so much
we’re always longing for more

Is this the end of the thread?
the thread that led me to loose my head over something that started with wonder

This just won’t hold – hold...

And even if a butterfly lives a hundred years
Or the stream of water turns around in the rivers

You and me – we’ll still be the same
You and me – we’ll still be the same

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My Recurring Dream

My friendly crow - dream diary...

The first part of the dream saw me freaking out at the thought of having a dozen large stag-bettles in jeans pocket which I had happily bought in the pet shop earlier that day. I ran into my childhood garden and took off my jeans outside, shaking them to get the beattles out. They scattered out of the pocket; they were dead.

Then, I dreamed I found a dead crow in the garden of my childhood home. I brought the dead crow in and he was in a plastic bag. The next part of the dream showed me that my father had washed the crow in the kitchen sink and left it to dry on the draining board. Miraculously, after the crow dried out, he became ALIVE. He and I bonded and he was a friendly crow. I fed him cat biscuits and sliced turkey which he ate in quite a hungry cat-like way, focussing on getting at the meat first. He wanted more but my mother let him out and he flew away. I hoped he would do well, my friend the crow.

Then I was woken up.

Although strange, it felt a significant dream and very vivid on waking up. The dream was hazy and in black and white.

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Photo: Teen Angst ~ a Graffiti Love Plea

Written on a handrail, this angst-ridden teen love graffiti was found today in Penarth, on the steep steps above the esplanade (near the Bay Leaf Restaurant) leading to Alexandra Park. Transcription below...

"Mickey, I'll be easy going, you can do what you want, see the boys as much as you want, I'll never hit you except in play-fights where I batter you! When I look into your eyes I know what I want, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know I've messed up but please I'll do whatever you want. You will always be my best friend and I won't control you, I'll never give up on you, and if turtlepillar does die completely then I'll still come down here and think of you. I can't live without you, it's so hard to know that you're not mine. Please don't give up on me baby. I want you so badly, I love you xxxx"

Who's Mickey? Who wrote this? More curiously, who (or what) is 'turtlepillar?' contra omnia discrimina

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Guest Author, Zan Anselmo, on What Love Really Is

Zan Anselmo, a friend, writer, artist and fellow CFS advocate wrote the following short observation on what love really is. I found it profound, accurate, personal, insightful and incredibly honest. It actually brought a tear to my eye through it's insightfulness. She kindly agreed to sharing it here:

I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS

- Zan Anselmo 

I woke up and realized the script I was writing is a fake. I lost myself in delusional dreams, but now, I'm finally awake. Because what I thought was love, was never really love. I thought the ache in my heart was an indicator that this is real. I thought misery is what love makes you feel. But I woke up, and realized I didn't know what love is. I thought love was something bad, and I wished it was something I never had. But I woke up, and finally figured out what love is. And love was never about me, or searching for someone to set me free. Love is about waking up from your own dream, and seeing people as they truly are. It's about loving them unconditionally from your heart. And love isn't about hating someone that doesn't serve your needs, and love isn't about what you can do for me. I woke up and finally figured out what love is. And everywhere I turn, people are writing their own unique scripts and stories, full of pain, jealously, envy, remorse and sorrow….and they sit there wishing, praying they'll find love tomorrow. But I know, love does not suffer and love does not hate. Love is patient, and love will wait. And I woke up, and finally figured out what love is. No one seems to see it, no one seems to feel it, because they keep searching outside. And when these external forces wound them, they quickly run and hide. But I woke up today, and finally knew what love was, and I knew it was love, because I watched the pain dissipate from my soul.

contra omnia discrimina

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Personal Appeal: Please Read: New Loving Homes Required for Two Wonderful Cats

A sad day has finally come. I have very little option but to find new homes for two of my cats - Freddie & Flo. Some of my readers will know that after living in England for 11 years, I moved back in my with parents in Wales just before Christmas, bringing my cats with me. The move was unplanned, due to unfortunate personal & family reasons. After 3 months of constant perseverance, it's now clear that two of my cats are unhappy in their new temporary home. More seriously, this is compounded by members of my family having a long-term respiratory condition and they have been finding that the cats are making this breathing condition worse. So now, I'm facing up to the stark reality that my two cats would be much happier in new, loving homes. It almost breaks my heart, but I must try and do what's best for the cats and the health of my family. Here's a little information on the two much-loved cats in need of a new home...

•••

Flo:

Flo was born on a farm in Peterborough in August 2006. She is 5 years old. She is a pretty silver/grey domestic shorthair with green eyes. She's quite small and slender, but perfectly healthy and vaccinated. She was sterilised as a young adult, so cannot have kittens. She has a loving personality but can sometimes be a bit fearful. On a one-to-one basis, she is very affectionate, loving and loyal but sometimes struggles with other animals. She is very clean and house trained, and uses a litter tray/dirt box. She used to go outside a lot, but since moving to Wales, she has lost confidence. Ideally, Flo would be more suited to being placed in a home with no existing pets, although with the right owner, she can be adaptable. She just needs love, and gives plenty of affection in return. Both cats live near Ebbw Vale, South Wales. They would be more suited to being homed separately. Contact details at the end...

•••

Freddie:

Freddie was adopted in Leicester as a young male cat when he was about a year old. He is currently about 2 years old; he's a handsome white/brown domestic shorthair. I don't know when he was born, but since adoption, his vaccinations are up-to-date and he has been sterilised, so he doesn't 'spray' or mark territory and cannot create pregnancies in female cats. Freddie is an incredibly affectionate, amazingly gentle little boy. He can be quite timid but loves people. He has cloudy eyes from an eye-infection before I adopted him, but his vision seems okay. Freddie needs a loving home, but he might struggle with boisterous children. He is house-trained, very quiet and clean. He's easy to fall in love with. Both cats live near Ebbw Vale, South Wales. They would be more suited to being homed separately. Contact details at the end...

•••

It's been a terribly tough decision to make but I feel like the more I delay the inevitable, the worse things will be on many levels. If you can help a friend out, please do. I would prefer my cats went to friends or family so I could 'stay in touch' with them, rather than handing them over to the custody of the RSPCA, which I might be forced to do if new homes can't be found, soon. If you can help, please email me on ryanjaprice@gmail.com, send me a message on Facebook or send a tweet on twitter to @uselessdesires. If you have my number, please call or text. Thank you,

Ryan

contra omnia discrimina

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Dance!

Dance is one of the most powerful forms of magical ritual... It is an outer expression of the inner spirit.
Ted Andrews

Everything in the universe has rhythm. Everything dances.
Maya Angelou

Life is not about getting through the storms, but about dancing in the rain.
Bunny Armstrong

There is a need to find and sing our own song, to stretch our limbs and shake them in a dance so wild that nothing can roost there, that stirs the yearning for solitary wings.
Barbara Lazear Ascher

Dancing is the body made poetic.
Ernst Bacon

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
Dave Barry

Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals.
Chas Baudelaire

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.
Vicki Baum

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:1,2,4

Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
Amy Bloom

My kids refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on TV.
Erma Bombeck

The earth sets some music going in us and dance we must.
Ludwig Boone

While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance.
Hans Bos

In dance, in composition, in sculpture, the experience is the same: we are more the conduit than the creator of what we express.
Julia Cameron

Dance on the edge of mystery.
Alan Cohen

Instead of seeing the rug being pulled from under us, we can learn to dance on the shifting carpet.
Thomas Crum

The truest expression of a people is in its dance and music.
Agnes de Mile

The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.
Barbara DeAngelis

Don’t say, Yes! Just take my hand and dance with me.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart, and I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.
Wayne Dyer

I said to my soul, be still, and wait...So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
T.S. Eliot

The stillness shall be the dancing and the darkness the light.
T.S. Eliot

Allow yourself to trust joy and embrace it. You will find you dance with everything.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Get up and dance, get up and smile, get up and drink to the days that are gone in the shortest while.
Simon Fowler

You can't be afraid of stepping on toes if you want to go dancing.
Lewis Freedman

We dance around in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.
Robert Frost

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
Kahlil Gibran

Dance is the hidden language of the soul.
Martha Graham

Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion.
Martha Graham

The body says what words cannot.
Martha Graham

Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain!
Vivian Greene

Work like you don't need the money, love like your heart has never broken, and dance like no one is watching.
Aurora Greenway

Everything is affected by and is part of everything else, changing constantly from one state to another. The rain becomes the river; the river surrenders to the sea and the cycle begins over again. Nothing is ever lost. The melody changes – the dance goes on.
Connie Harrison

Play with life, laugh with life, dance lightly with life, and smile at the riddles of life, knowing that life's only true lessons are writ small in the margin.
Jonathan Lochwood Huie

Most people live dejectedly in worldly joys or sorrows. They sit on the sidelines and do not join the dance.
Søren Kierkegaard

You can’t lie when you dance. It’s so direct. You do what is in you. It is impossible to dance out of the side of your mouth.
Shirley MacLaine

When it rains it pours. Maybe the art of life is to convert tough times to great experiences; we can choose to hate the rain or dance in it.
Joan Marques

Dance has always been a way of accessing the other worlds, especially whirling or spinning.
Caitlin Matthews

Joy is peace dancing and peace is joy at rest.
F. B. Meyer

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
Angela Monet

Put a little fun into your life. Try dancing.
Kathryn Murray

Dance is life. Stillness is love. Together, they are everything.
Debbie Nargi-Brown

And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Dancing in all its forms cannot be excluded from the curriculum of all noble education; dancing with the feet, with ideas, with words, and, need I add that one must also be able to dance with the pen?
Friedrich Nietzsche

He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
Friedrich Nietzsche

I do not know what the spirit of a philosopher could more wish to be than a good dancer. For the dance is his ideal, also his fine art, finally also the only kind of piety he knows, his ‘divine service’.
Friedrich Nietzsche

One must still have chaos in him to dance with a shooting star.
Friedrich Nietzsche

The soul never ages. My soul dances without my feet. I am the music.
Alev Oguz

Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.
Satchel Paige

He who cannot dance claims the floor is uneven.
Hindu saying

To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.
Hopi saying

We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.
Japanese proverb

If you can walk you can dance. If you can talk you can sing.
Zimbabwe Proverb

See stars in the changing season and dance among them, shining.
Mary Anne Radmacher

Part of the joy of dancing is conversation. Trouble is, some men can’t talk and dance at the same time.
Ginger Rogers

Love is the passionate dance between two hearts. It is to believe in the dream, and together make it real.
Sylvana Rossetti

Rhythm is our universal mother tongue. It’s the language of the soul.
Gabrielle Roth

Dance where you can break yourself up to pieces and totally abandon your worldly passions.
Rumi

To dance is to live!
Charles M. Schulz

When I feel the joy of receiving a gift my heart nudges me to join creation's ballet, the airy dance of giving and receiving, and getting and giving again.
Lewis Smedes

Dance as though no one is watching. Love as though you've never been hurt. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.
John Philip Souza

Next time you’re mad, try dancing out your anger.
Sweetpea Tyler

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain.
Author Unknown

Let us read and let us dance – two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.
Voltaire

Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
Kurt Vonnegut

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
Alan Watts

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.
Carol Welch

Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.
Oprah Winfrey

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