The Afterlife? A Perspective.

In the afterlife you relive all your experiences, but this time with the events reshuffled into a new order: all the moments that share a quality are grouped together...

You spend two months driving the street in front of your house, seven months having sex. You sleep for thirty years without opening your eyes. For five months straight you flip through magazines while sitting on a toilet.

You take all your pain at once, all twenty-seven intense hours of it. Bones break, cars crash, skin is cut, babies are born. Once you make it through, it's agony-free for the rest of your afterlife.

But that doesn't mean it's always pleasant.

You spend six days clipping your nails. Fifteen months looking for lost items. Eighteen months waiting in line. Two years of boredom: staring out a bus window, sitting in an airport terminal. One year reading books. Your eyes hurt, and you itch, because you can't take a shower until it's your time to take your marathon two-hundred-day shower. Two weeks wondering what happens when you die. One minute realizing your body is falling. Seventy-seven hours of confusion. One hour realizing you've forgotten someone's name. Three weeks realizing you are wrong. Two days lying. Six weeks waiting for a green light. Seven hours vomiting. Fourteen minutes experiencing pure joy. Three months doing laundry. Fifteen hours writing your signature. Two days tying shoelaces. Sixty-seven days of heartbreak. Five weeks driving lost. Three days calculating restaurant tips. Fifty-one days deciding what to wear. Nine days pretending you know what is being talked about. Two weeks counting money. Eighteen days staring into the refrigerator. Thirty-four days longing. Six months watching commercials. Four weeks sitting in thought, wondering if there is something better you could be doing with your time. Three years swallowing food. Five days working buttons and zippers. Four minutes wondering what your life would be like if you reshuffled the order of events...

In this part of the afterlife, you imagine something analogous to your Earthly life, and the thought is blissful: a life where episodes are split into tiny swallowable pieces, where moments do not endure, where one experiences the joy of jumping from one event to the next like a child hopping from spot to spot on the burning sand..

Copyright © 2010 Ryan Price

Related link:
Hell, by Cecilia Weightman:
http://www.uselessdesires.co.uk/hell-a-short-story-by-cecilia-weightman

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The Living Bible ~ A True Story

His name is Tim. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it,

jeans, and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire
four years of college.

He is brilliant. Kind of profound and very, very bright. He became a
Christian while attending college.

Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative
church. They want to develop a ministry to the students but are not
sure how to go about it..

One day Tim decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans, his
T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and so Tim 
starts down the aisle looking for a seat..

The church is completely packed and he can't find a seat. By now,
people are really looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says
anything.

Tim gets closer and closer and closer to the pulpit, and when he
realizes there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet.

By now the people are really uptight, and the tension in the air is
thick.

About this time, the minister realizes that from way at the back of the
church, a deacon is slowly making his way toward Tim.

Now the deacon is in his eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a
three-piece suit. A godly man, very elegant, very dignified, very
courtly. He walks with a cane and, as he starts walking toward this
boy, everyone is saying to themselves that you can't blame him for what he's going to do.

How can you expect a man of his age and of his background to understand some college kid on the floor?

It takes a long time for the man to reach the boy.

The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane.
All eyes are focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The minister can't even preach the sermon until the deacon does what he has to do.

And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With
great difficulty, he lowers himself and sits down next to Tim and
worships with him so he won't be alone.

Everyone chokes up with emotion...

When the minister gains control, he says,
'What I'm about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just seen, you will never forget.'

'Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people will
ever read!'

* * *

I asked the Lord to bless you
As I prayed for you today.
To guide you and protect you
As you go along your way....
His love is always with you,
His promises are true,
And when we give Him all our cares,
You know He will see us through.

Only if you feel led to, pass this to 
People you want God to Bless.

* * *

Thanks to Rev. Mair Bradley for this weeks Sunday Submission.  

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